


When There's No One Around

by Elenhin



Series: say it with a song [4]
Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-13 18:07:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1236070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenhin/pseuds/Elenhin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fourth of the song fic challenge between me and Aramirandme81, who so kindly gave me a hand. </p>
<p>Anders, When there's no one around, when Anders is just Anders, and not Anders the prick...</p>
            </blockquote>





	When There's No One Around

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aramirandme81](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aramirandme81/gifts).



When There’s No One Around

 

Anders slammed the door behind him as he left, not that it would make a difference. Not that they would care. his part in it was amusement and abuse. It was the way it went and it was what he was sure they wanted him there for.  
  
They demanded he be present. They made that perfectly clear, but it was not because they put any sort of value in what he had to say. It was so they had someone to snap off, burn of frustration, that was the only thing he could see that they wanted him for.

 

He’d done good stuff, useful stuff, he saved Axl from going to jail. Axl and Olaf hugged him, but the look on Mike’s face, that was something else. He expected that from Mike, he knew Mike would not be grateful, even if he had nothing to do with that mess, and sorted it. Mike still seemed to blame him in some strange way.

 

They were his brothers, and in a way he loved them, but there were times he could barely take them. There were times he could barely stand them.

 

It didn’t matter who he was anymore, it was who they made him to be.

 

This is a song that nobody knows

I couldn't begin to describe how it goes

But it makes me cry or laugh right out loud

It's a song that I sing when there's no one around

 

This is the man that nobody sees

He wears my old clothes and he looks just like me

Just one of the boys who gets lost in the crowd

He's the man that I am when there's no one around

 

Getting home he grabbed a glass and the vodka from the fridge. There was no ‘getting home and relax’ routine. Nothing that really changed, but at least he was not the dick anymore, at least he was not met with scorn.

 

Sometimes they just wound him up so much, got to him in a way that only your family really can. Had him so worked up he could not sleep but lay thinking instead. Thinking that maybe if he did things a different way they’d want him for himself and not for his ability to be the punching bag.

 

Maybe if he had done things right they wouldn’t see him as someone who was a dick, and nothing else. Maybe they would see that he had other uses, that he was a part of the family.

 

It was all shit though, and it always had been, and there were times when he could not see how it could ever be anything else.

 

It's four in the morning

Im lyin' in bed

A tape of my failures

Playin' inside my head

It's heartaches and hard knocks

And things I don't know

I listen and I wonder

Where will it go

 

There was so much more to who he was than snide remarks and vodka. So much more he wanted to do. Jokes, laughter, plain and simple fun.

 

It all disappeared when he was with his family because he was too much of a coward to dare be that person around them. He knew that they would not allow it, they’d scorn, so he’d better protect that part of himself. Lock that kid he still felt inside him up, to keep him safe for when he could let him out to play.

 

The kid was the one he liked, who he wanted to be. The one who could get up in the morning, pour coffee and cereal instead of vodka. Dress in simple shorts and the t-shirt with the print of some cartoon car and have his cereal with the cartoon show. For no other reason than it was fun. No one should be allowed to be so grown up and boring that Coyote and the Road Runner was not funny. 

 

Life should not be allowed to be too serious for Tom and Jerry, it was things like that that kept you sane after all. Once you’ve seen Mickey Mouse trying to assemble a boat with Donald Duck and Goofy you know what an impossible task looks like. Finding an elusive Goddess can not be that hard in comparison. 

 

Then again, the way his family was constantly coming down on him with all the crap they expected him to take, he rather felt sorry for poor old Tom. He knew only too well what it felt like being kept around just so they’d have some to kick. 

 

They’d never understand it though, they didn’t want to see it. The shorts and the t-shirt wasn’t Anders as they wanted to see him. 

 

It’s one thing to punch your smart ass brother, so that the expensive suit is ruined from sliding across the ground. 

 

It’s a lot harder to punch someone who’s got Mickey Mouse smiling at you from his t-shirt. 

 

You would think that would make it tempting to show them that side, so they wouldn’t punch him. But Anders couldn’t risk it. What if they punched him anyway? What then? The kid was the last part of him not afraid of his family nor of being hurt… no better not risk it. 

 

That’s why he have to make sure he does not allow that kid out, but keep him to himself, inside his apartment. 

 

Keep him safe where Mike and the others could not kill him.

 

This is a glimpse of the child that's within

He's so immature but he's still my best friend

If he could learn how to fly he'd never touch down

He's the kid that I am when there's no one around

 

This is the dance I do every day

I let my feet go and get carried away

I let my soul lead and follow the sound

It's the dance that I do when there's no one around

 

Alone with your worries and failures they seem so much worse. He has no one to share them with though, no one to ease them. Just an endless stream in his head, louder than Bragi. It’s been there so long he’s not sure what he would do if it went away.

 

a voice pointing out all the things he’s done wrong, how he’ll never be what they want him to be, and how he will always be the dick.

 

It’s not who he wants to be, not really.

 

It's four in the morning

Im lyin' in bed

A tape of my failures

Playin' inside my head

It's heartaches and hard knocks

And things I don't know

I listen and I wonder

Where will it go

 

This is a song that nobody knows

I still can't begin to describe how it goes

But it makes me cry or laugh right out loud

It's a song that I sing when there's no one around

It's a song that I sing when there's no one around

 

It’s not who he wants to be, not who he is now. When Mike demands his presence next he knows who he will be, but now, right now, he is the one he is when there’s no one around.

 

The End

Please comment, the Cricket is hungry...  
  



End file.
